


If We're Sinners Then It Feels Like Heaven To Me

by mikoriin



Category: CLAMP - Works, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 06:39:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikoriin/pseuds/mikoriin
Summary: this is basically just the love confession scene but with a kiss and more angst and emotion





	If We're Sinners Then It Feels Like Heaven To Me

A ringing sound pierced through Syaoran’s ears as he sit in darkness. He felt floaty and almost like he didn’t quite exist. He couldn’t remember anything, who he was, or what he had been doing beforehand. Then, memories rushed to the front of his mind like crashing waves, how he had grown up, the adventures and journeys he went on, traveling to different dimensions for something precious, the friends and found family he made along these adventures. And, what had rushed forth and filled his mind the most was  _ her. _ Sakura. He saw her smile, her jade eyes, that pink pale skin contrasting with hair the color of sweet honey. He saw what they had been through, the memories they made as children, the life she had given him as a friend, as someone he could hold onto dearly and cherish, someone who he could love. Then, the flashes of everything he put her through; fighting his other self, taking the feather from Tokyo and giving it to her as routine became, but then leaving her. How could he leave her? At that time he felt like his body wasn’t his, like the true Syaoran was caged in the back of his mind. He saw horrific images of him taking the lives of innocents, blood painted the canvas of every world he came to haunt like a nightmare. Finally, he saw the worst image, the image of blood staining Sakura’s white dress, her auburn hair,  _ his _ sword through  _ her _ heart. 

 

Syaoran wanted to scream, to cry out, the image of her decaying body flowing away in the wind replayed like a broken record in his head. It paralyzed him, left his mouth dry and aching to let out even the slightest sound of grief, but no cries would come. Knowing what he had done was torture, how could he go against the very thing he swore on his very life he would commit? He had always protected her, always cushioned her fall, was her shoulder to cry on, her shield, her martyr. Everything he did, he did in adoration and devotion to Sakura. And yet he was the one who took her life.

 

One more image flashed before him, the third fight with the “other” Syaoran, the Syaoran he had come to know was his original. The plan to kill Fei Wong Reed, failing, and perishing himself. He had truly awoken the moment he had ended his love’s life, but continued to stay in the shadows until Fei Wong needed him again. He didn’t enjoy fighting with “Syaoran”, but he knew he had to get their attention. Seeing Kurogane and Fai, his companions,  _ his family _ , again almost made his heart explode with regret and sorrow. What could they possibly think of him now? Did they hate him? Want to kill him too? Want his existence erased along with every memory they had of him? He didn’t know, only in the time of death did he finally say his apologies. His last remorse, and wondered what Sakura had been trying to tell him in her last moments. Then everything faded.

 

Now he was here, in a void that seemed to go on for infinity. His body pieced itself together, each broken shard fitting into the cracks of each other, completing the mirror that he was. He looked up to see a woman in a white kimono, Yuuko, her hair flowing around her despite the lack of wind. “This is…” He began to question.

 

“A dream.” She answered,

 

Syaoran looked at his hands, though they were clean he still wanted to wash off all the blood that he had spilled until his skin was raw. “I...I was…” He could barely speak.

 

“Indeed.” Yuuko chimed in for him, “You were attacked by Fei Wong...And destroyed.”

 

Questions swimmed around in Syaoran’s mind. He was indeed dead, he remembered everything. “Then...Why?” He asked, his voice soft, barely a whisper.

 

“Because you are a created being, you cannot die, only ‘disappear’.” She looked behind her. “Just like her.”

 

Syaoran squinted his eyes past the witch and saw fluttering cherry blossoms forming a silhouette of a girl.  _ Sakura _ . Yuuko turned back to face Syaoran, “Before you disappeared completely, I took your bodies and brought them here. Including the heart that dwells within your body, in your case.” She briefly looked back to Sakura, floating in the midst of this dark, barren space, “In the princess’ case, her body and soul were dissolved into petals. Fei Wong had assumed that because he duplicated the body, her soul would be destroyed from the stress. However that was not the case.”

 

Syaoran looked to Yuuko with his same sincere, determined eyes, though now they were clouded by agony and regret. “Why have you brought us here?” He asked. 

 

“To choose.” Yuuko responded.

 

Syaoran’s eyes shot open. “Choose what?”

 

“The future.”

 

Syaoran looked to Sakura once again, her eyes fluttered open. Syaoran reached for her, only to stop himself. He could see her looking at him, but he couldn’t do the same. He had hurt her.  _ Killed her. _ How could he face her now? The two clones stared at each other, Syaoran’s hand hung in the air as Sakura held her hands to her chest. “The two of you are created beings.” Yuuko’s voice rang through the silence, “Therefore you cannot die.”

 

Sakura and Syaoran looked to the dimensional witch, her expression unchanging. “You cannot die...So you can be reborn.”

 

The clones audibly gasped and turned their attention to Yuuko now. “I will give a life to each of you.” She turned her head to look at the ground.

 

Syaoran stepped forward, “And the price?” He asked tentatively.

 

Yuuko was silent for a few moments, then she turned to them with the slightest smile on her lips, “That price has already been paid.” She responded sincerely.

 

She began to explain everything, how when her life was coming to an end, Clow Reed wished for her to open her eyes once more, and Fei Wong sought out to grant that wish. How when the original Syaoran turned back the hands of time, everyone’s lives were changed drastically; Fujitaka became Syaoran’s father, the queen of Clow country was dead, and Clow Reed himself stepped in to fill the space of Sakura’s father. She explained that when Clow died, he left behind his power to pay for the price of Syaoran’s rebirth, and for Sakura, Yuuko herself would pay the price. 

 

“I have spent my time in that shop, granting wishes in hopes that it would pay for the price of your rebirth.” She spoke softly yet her voice echoed in the darkness.

 

“What will happen to you once my price is paid?” Sakura asked, worry in her voice.

 

“That is my business.” Yuuko responded flatly. “However...this is no ordinary reincarnation. Unlike traditional rebirth, where you have no memories of you past life and start anew, you will retain all of your memories, from the pleasant to the painful.”

 

Yuuko explained further the process of living out their lives to meet once again, and that they will meet their other selves in that life as well, however that once they get to that point it is up to them to choose the paths they will take. Syaoran and Sakura looked to each other, Syaoran’s chest bubbling with anxiety and sorrow, like he could burst and cry at any moment longer he stared into her beautiful face. “I….have hurt so many people.” He spoke softly, swallowing any screams that could possibly escape his throat, “Even Sakura…”

 

“That was not your doing, you were being manipulated by Fei Wong.” Yuuko said in response.

 

“Still…” His hands began to tremble, “The one who caused all that pain and suffering...was me.” 

 

Syaoran closed his eyes, he could see the bloody flashes of death, imprinting into his brain. “Even if that’s true…” Sakura interjected, “If you have sinned, then I will bare those sins with you.” She looked to him with sincere, genuine eyes.

 

Syaoran’s heart stopped, how could she say such a thing? After he had hurt so many people, had hurt  _ her _ ? “Even if one day I will be punished for taking your side, I will accept the hellfire as it burns my soul inside and out. I want us to be together, I want to live alongside you, to live  _ with you _ .”

 

Sakura held out her hand which trembled with uncertainty. Syaoran stared long and hard at her shaking hand reached out to him. She forgave him, accepted him even after all the terrible things he had done. He slowly reached out, a lump in his throat and the urge to pull back and live out the rest of his days in hell for hurting her. Ignoring all feelings of self hatred and guilt, he grabbed her hand and held it tight. Sakura’s eyes glossed over with tears and she pulled him closer to her with the most gentle smile. “The choice has been made.” Yuuko said, smiling at the two of them.

 

Sakura took in a breath, she seemed to shine in the darkness that surrounded them. The magic circle appeared at their feet, Sakura moving as close to Syaoran as she could possibly be, “I can finally say it….I love you.” She said, staring into amber pools.

 

Syaoran looked into her jade eyes, shining with tears and love for him. He felt his entire body grow hot, all the terrible memories from his past melting away. “...I love you too.” He spoke quietly, almost a whisper just for Sakura to hear.

 

She smiled wide, and pulled her face close to his, bringing their lips together. Syaoran was shocked at first, but quickly gave in to the kiss. He held her head in his hands as she embraced him. If one day they were to perish in hell for their wrongdoings, as long as they were together it would feel like heaven. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i really want to write more syaosaku one shots instead of trying to work on multi-chapter fics for the time being because i have a lot of other projects i need to work on. this will be the first of many syaosaku kiss prompts i want to write! oh, its also based off of a small comic i drew back in 2017: http://mikoriin.tumblr.com/post/162571039210/altered-the-official-confession-scene-a-little-bit


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